Healing
by DreHeart02
Summary: Olivia Pope isn't perfect and she knows that but when tragedy strikes, Olivia runs and when Fitz finds out he drowns in sorrow. Their only way to heal is together.
1. Chapter 1

"WHERE IS SHE?" Fitz screamed. He looked each one of her team members in the the eye.

"She left for a bit." Quinn responded.

"Well where the hell did she go Ms. Perkins?" Fitz glared at her.

"Out of the state." Harrison said.

"WHAT?!" Fitz roared.

"She left the state to heal." Abby exclaimed.

Fitz knew she was rushed to the hospital but why he did not know. "And why is that Ms. Whelan?" Everyone was silent.

"Do you love Olivia?" Huck asked. They all knew something big was going to happen.

"Yes."

"What do you want from her?" Huck asked.

"I want her love and I want her 'I do' and I want kids from Olivia Pope. I want a family from her and only her."

"And the baby the First Lady is carrying is not enough. You need children from to different women?"

"The baby Mellie is carrying is NOT mine." They stared at each other for awhile.

"She was pregnant but she had a miscarriage. She's staying with Tanya King her godmother and you were the father." Everyone just looked at Huck and Fitz. They seen a tear fall on Fitz cheek and he walked out. He walked out of OPA with Tom standing next to him.

"Sir what do you need?" Tom asked.

"I need to talk to Olivia Pope immediately." Tom nodded.

It's been 3 days since he found out that he almost had a child with the love of his life. He kicked Mellie out of the White house. They had an event to attend later on today. He doesn't say much unless he have to. Tom made a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hello Ms. King may I speak to Olivia Pope?"

"And who is speaking?"

"President's secret service agent Tom."

"Oh um…hold on." A few seconds later Olivia took the phone.

"Hello?" She sounded broken.

"Ms. Pope it's Tom. Please don't hang up."

"I don't want to talk to him." Her voice was shaking.

"He knows. He knows everything."

"Everything?"

"The miscarriage, where you are right now." Her breathing increased.

"How?"

"Huck told him at O.P.A 3 days ago."

"Does he hate me?"

"No ma'am."

"Is he angry?"

"No ma'am he's just hurting. He's on the Oval's floor drinking scotch and crying. He does this every day around the same time he doesn't talk and he doesn't eat. He's been begging for someone to contact you. Would you like to speak to him?"

"Yes." Tom walked in the Oval.

"Mr. President there's someone on the phone for you."

"If it's Mellie tell her to go f*ck herself. If not tell them to call back when I'm no longer the President or alive."

"What you just said is sending me red flags. Are you contemplating self harm?" Tom asked he heard Olivia say Oh my God.

"Who's on the damn phone Tom?"

"Ms. Pope would like to talk to you." Fitz took the phone.

"Hi." He heard her shaky voice.

"Hi." He responded he started to sob "Please come back." He cried his heart out. Begging her to come back.


	2. Chapter 2

"Fitz I can't." Olivia tried to sound strict.

"Livvie I need you." Fitz pleaded.

"And you have me always even when we're miles apart." Olivia tried.

"I need you close to hold."

"And I need space to cope."

"Livvie please come back to me. Don't leave me. Come back sweet baby." He felt a fresh set of tears come.

"Fitz I will be back. I'm not leaving you. I love you Fitz but I just can't right now." He ended the call and threw the phone. Tom came back in and picked it up.

"Cyrus will be here soon to get you for your event. Do you need anything?"

"I new job. I'll be ready thank you. I'm going to go change my clothes." Fitz said his speech was a little slurred but you couldn't tell unless you really listened. Fitz put on a fresh suit washed his face and brushed his teeth. You couldn't tell her just lost a child and was crying or that he has half a bottle of scotch in his system. He walked out of the bathroom and was greeted with two faces one he hated and the other one annoyed him.

"Good you're ready." Cyrus said ushering him to the door.

"You know you could've at least said hi to your pregnant wife."

"First off you aren't legally my wife second f ck off." He got in the car followed by Cyrus then Mellie. The drive was deathly silent. When the car stopped at a light Tom handed Fitz the phone and told him to read. Fitz took it seeing it was from Olivia he shielded it from the other passengers view.

 _Please don't be mad. I need you too. I need you to hold me too but I am scared. I come back and I get to see you with your very pregnant wife and then I have to look in the mirror and remember that I couldn't hold your child long enough to bring them into the world. That's a hard blow to your mistress. Call me when you aren't mad anymore._

He kept rereading the text they got out the car. Fitz put on a fake smile and started his speech. Once it was over Mellie being the woman she is had to say something and be noticed. Since it was an event for the mothers who children have died because of drunk drivers she decided to use her unborn child to her advantage.

"I would like to say that if me and Fitz baby America's baby was killed by a drunk driver. I would be devastated inconsolable. The life that is made out of the love that my husband and I share taken from me taken from America would hurt. So you women deserve-"

"SHUT UP MELLIE. THAT BABY YOU ARE CARRYING IS NOT MINE THEREFORE IT IS NOT AMERICA'S. THEREFORE IT WAS NOT MADE OUT OF LOVE. I AM NOT YOUR HUSBAND WE'VE BEEN DIVORCED FOR TWO YEARS NOW. YOU ARE THE REASON I DON'T SLEEP AT NIGHT IN MY BED. YOU ARE THE REASON I FROWN. YOU ARE THE REASON I WANT TO RESIGN FROM THE PRESIDENCY. YOU'RE THE REASON I HATE MY LIFE. YOU ARE THE REASON I CAN'T BE WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE. THE ONLY REASON YOU GOT PREGNANT IS BECAUSE YOU NEED CHILDREN'S TO SHOW OFF AND I REFUSED TO SLEEP WITH YOU AND PRODUCE A BABY THAT IS NOT LOVED BY BOTH PARENTS. SO MELLIE DON'T TRY TO UNDERSTAND THEIR PAIN WHEN YOU'VE NEVER LOST A CHILD OR EVEN WANTED ONE."

"AND YOU HAVE?!" MELLIE SCREAMED BACK

"YES I HAVE! I LOST A CHILD THAT WAS MADE OUT OF LOVE. NO PRETENDING."

"How dare you embarrass me!" She stormed off. Cyrus stood there mouth wide open. Fitz started sobbing Tom came and tried to comfort him. Cyrus shook off what occurred and tried to talk him into leaving. So women came and did the same. Telling him it'll be okay. Tom held the phone to his ear.

"I'm coming baby. Go back to the White House my team will stay the night with you. I'm going to bring my godmother with me okay?"

"Yes."

"I love you. Go home."

"Ok." He hung up the phone. Tom and Cyrus helped him get back to his car pushing pass the cameras. Olivia's team beat them to it.

"I'm going to ride back with you guys. Just in case things get violent." Abby told Fitz.

"Ok." Was all he said.


	3. Chapter 3

**Abby P.O.V.**

I sat between Fitz and Mellie, group chatting with the team about how to fix this. The first 5 minutes were silent and filled with tension.

"You know I can't believe you. You embarrass me then have your Whore's friends over, then what? A party." Mellie growled at Fitz. _If this woman don't shut up..._

"She's not my whore." Fitz stared out the window. He looked like a lost puppy. I felt bad.

"Oh, so she's everybody's whore." _One...Two...Three. Count to 10. Ignore._

"She's nobody's whore." He sounded defeated.

"She's just your mistress I see and maybe 10 other men's mistress." _Breathe, Breathe_. I fiercely text the team.

"She's NOT NO ONE'S MISTRESS! YOU HAVE A NERVE TO CALL SOMEONE A WHORE WHEN YOU'VE BANGED HALF OF THE MEN IN MY D*MN COUNTRY." He yelled, he was shaking I was getting ready to talk to him when Mellie leaned over and began to attack the president of the United States. _I have had enough_. I pushed her into the car's door.

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. ENOUGH OF YOU B*TCHING AROUND." My voice went dangerously low "Now sit your good for nothing *ss down and shut up before I drag you out this car and and Beat. Your. Ass." I noticed the car wasn't moving "can you hurry the h*ll up and get there already?" The car began moving, I leaned over to get my phone off the floor. As I came up there was blood on the president's hand. I looked up at him he was calmly looking out the window but my reaction to his face was anything but.

"Mr. President, your face. F*ck Liv is going to kill me." He didn't even react to a thing I said I know she took her Godmom's Jet. I dialed her number but it went to voicemail. I got a call back from her a few minutes later.

"Hey what's up?" Her voice made me nervous.

"Uh...well...-"

"Put him on the phone." I tap Fitz shoulder he looked at me before he took it and held it to his ear but said nothing.

 ** _Olivia P.O.V._**

I heard him breathing on the other end.

"What happened?" I asked.

"She said you were my whore. I told her you aren't my whore then she said you're everybody's whore I told her you weren't." I knew he'd been drinking and I knew there was more.

" Fitz there has to be something else."

" She said you are me and three other men mistress." _mistress_

"You snapped after she called me your-"

"Shush just don't finish, I read your text message and it angers me just thinking about it."

"Then what happened?"

"She started beating me in the face one hit, two hit, Miss Whelan pushed her off as she scratched up my face." I could feel my hatred for her boiling.

"Did you fight back?"

"I don't hit women no matter the circumstance beside my energy is drained."

"I'll be there by 6 o'clock okay? You're a good man Fitz because there's not many men who would do what you did. I love you Fitz."

"Okay." I was hurt this was the second time he didn't say it back. "I understand now how it feels, how you feel every time you told me you loved me and I didn't say it back it hurts." I was hurting more than I can explain to him and all I want to hear is his voice telling me he loved me.

"I love you, Olivia...my love for you is so strong I would kill for you. I love you Olivia Pope with all my heart no matter what."

"I love you too." I hung up as the tears begin to escape I felt my Godmother's hand grab mines I held her's tighter.

"I love him so much it physically hurts. I don't want to fix what happens today but what choice do I have? You have a choice to let him chooose if he wants it fixed or not you don't want to fix this then don't."

"I have to. I want him happy."

"He doesn't seem very happy with what you're trying to fix. You can't fix something that's not meant to be fixed."

"I want my damn baby that... THAT wasn't supposed to happen." I almost had my dream come true I cried into my godmother shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

The motorcade pulled into the White House. The driver opened the door for my godmom then rushed to open the door for me. Abby was waiting for me, she ran to me pulling me into a tight embrace.

"I know you don't like to be touched without permission but I've been so worried about you and your well being. Liv...please let me in. I care about you."

"I'll think about it." I wrapped one arm around her real quick and pulled away.

"Abby this is my godmother. Mom this is my…beat friend Abby." I knew she was beaming at me calling her best friend. It's not that I don't care about her, and don't think of her as a close friends it's just everyone I get attached to emotionally goes awat, hurts me, or just are miles away where the only time we see each other is on the holidays. Fitz was and still is a perfect mistake just like the baby I once carried. Our baby was a perfect mistake that changed our lives, forever. We walked to the residence my heart was running around in my stomach screaming like the world is ending. Hal opened the door as we approached. I told myself it'll be fine, that I would keep my cool and distant for my sake. I walked in first, Huck saw me first Harrison was talking to Fitz so, Fitz back was to me. Quinn said my name like I would run if she acknowledged my present. That got Harrison's attention and I knew he was waiting to hear her voice.

"Hi, everyone." Fitz slowly turned around looking at me like I was a ghost. No, he wasn't looking at me, he was looking at my stomach that carried our creation for a short while. I didn't believe in crying or showing emotion but I couldn't help but tear up. He started to come closer and I could feel my tears fighting me to escape.

"Stop." I whispered. I knew he needed me but I couldn't. He froze.

"I…I...I can't. Do this. I can't do it Fitz." I turned to leave.6

"You don't get to do that. To run away. Olivia…You promised me. Olivia you hid my child's death and you let me go through this alone. I needed YOU and YOU WEREN'T there! You're never there because you can't, what? Love me? You took my love and gave me nothing in return. Have you ever loved me?" I swirled around.

"Don't you dare do that! I'm trying Fitzgerald but need I remind you that I was your side, I got you when you were horny while that…that b*tch got you whenever. She can carry your children for a full 9 months and I can't even carry our child for 3 months. I always run because YOU ARE A MISTAKE. My best mistake I can't do something so natural for a woman while she can so, I'm going to fix this mess and your going to stay with her and have children and enjoy your life without me and my pain that comes with loving me." I let the tears soak my face.

"She's not my anything and you will not destroy my life because you can't fix yours. There's no happily ever after with her. If you don't want me just say it. I'm tired of the mixed signals so I'm going to end this. You can leave my life Olivia. Have a good life, Ms. Pope." We stood there staring at each other. My move. 'You can leave my life, Olivia.' was on repeat. 'Is this what I want?'

"No." I said.

"No?" He responded.

"I'm tired of crying and hurting. I am tired of laying alone and putting up a face for everyone. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of this life. Watching you prance around with Mellie and not me. I want you and Vermont."

"Livvie?" Fitz whispered.

"I want you and Vermont now. Not later, not after this. I want a fat chubby baby with you." I didn't care my team was hearing this I was tired of pretending and faking happiness that I didn't have.

"I love you, baby. Whatever you want you can have." I ran to Fitz, he quickly engulfed me in a protective embrace. I cried and I let him hold me because I couldn't hold myself.

"I want you, I love you too. I promise not to hurt you again." I mumbled into his chest.

"All I need." I heard him whisper into my hair.

* * *

 **I'm sorry for any errors.**


	5. Author Note

p style="text-align: center;"strongHi, everyone reading this is started a new story called span style="text-decoration: underline;"emIm Not Normal/em/spanem /emand I would appreciate if you all give it a chance and read. I'll be updating soon, I'm in the middle of moving so it's kind of hard but I'll manage 3. This is on all my stories. Have a fabulous weekend!/strong/p 


	6. Chapter 5

Fitz took me by the hand and pulled me into a room. We stood there in the room staring at each other.

"I'm sorry." I apologized.

"For what?" He asked.

"Losing our baby." I whispered.

"That's not your fault. Besides I'm sorry for not being there." He said sitting on his bed with his hands covering his face.

"You didn't even know."

"Would you have told me you were pregnant?" He asked.

"I was planning this whole 'You're going to be a daddy dinner.' at my place when it happened. Me and Abby was going over the food I wanted her to cook and the cake. It was going to be a small get together. 1:07 p.m. I was in pain and then I was bleeding and fainted. I should have known from the back pains but I was determined to tell you before my next check up but it was too late. So so stupid." I wrapped my arms myself.

"Liv. It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault. Come here." He opened his arms for me. I ran into his arms knocking him onto the bed. I cried on his chest repeating 'I'm sorry'. He held me tightly. The room door opened but I kept my head buried in his chest. I felt him shift.

"Get out!" He shouted at the person.

"I'm tired of you and you're whore." I heard Mellie calmly reply. I held Fitz tighter.

"GET OUT!" Fitz shouted louder than before.

"Oh you're whore isn't going to protect your feelings. No wonder she lost that bastard baby nobody wants cowards as parents. That baby would've hated-" Before she could finish I had rushed to her and punched her in the mouth. I pushed her down as she screamed out in pain. I felt Fitz arms wrap around me. I looked to see my team standing around there shocked. Tom lifted her off the floor.

"I'll handle her Miss Pope." Tom said walking off with her. I leaned against the hallway wall and screamed

"Fvck!" I slid down to the floor pulling my knees to my chest while using my arms to keep them in place. I closed my eyes and placed my forehead on them.

"Come on Liv." My mom said. I shook my head no.

"Just go." I said. Fitz plopped down next to me. Then the team and mom did the same on the wall across from me and Fitz.

"We're going to get through this Liv." Abby promised.

"Yeah you and the President have us and we're not going anywhere." Quinn spoke up.

"Over a cliff?" Harrison asked.

"Over a cliff." They all replied. We sat on the painfully hard floor for a good hour no one moved a muscle until I couldn't take it no more. I stood and so did everyone else but Fitz who was dozing off. Poor baby. I knelt in front of him taking his hand,

"Fitz." I called out. His eyes flew open in alarm. "C'mon." I told him. He stood and we walked to the living room. Everyone took a seat.

"I'm hungry and you know how I get when I'm hungry." My mom directed to me.

"Of course mama. What would you like?" I asked.

"Pizza." She requested. I nodded pulling out my wallet, handing Quinn a $100 bill.

"What kind of pizza?" I asked.

"Meat Lover." Harrison was the first to reply.

"Ham." Abby replied next. I waited for Huck to talk next but he didn't.

"Huck? What kind?" I asked.

"I'm not hungry." He replied.

"Huck, what kind?" I repeated.

"Pepperoni." He answered.

"Fitz?" I asked.

"I'm full." He replied.

"When was the last time you ate?" I questioned.

"Earlier." He responded. I stared at him.

"When was the last time you ate?" I repeated. He looked back at me and his face told it all.

"Get a sausage and cheese for me and Fitz. What about you mama?" I asked.

"I'm going to join Quinn if you don't mind." She responded.

"Of course. Ask Tom and Hal no is not an answer." I told Quinn. She nodded in understanding. They left and we all just sat there in silence.

"We came up with a plan." Abby said breaking the silence. We discussed it for the next 45 minutes. I knew Fitz was upset.

"Alright what do you think Fitz?" I asked.

"I thought you really was going to give us a chance a real chance but you fooled me once again. Once again you fooled me. Made me believe in us just for you to take that away and replace yourself with Mellie. You fool me every time you really do." He said with disappointment written all over his face.

"Fitz I'm not trying to replace me with Mellie. I just think you guys should show a united front while explaining why you hid everything that you did from America."

"And if they ask about my child that I lost?" He asked.

"Tell them it's a really touchy subject and you don't want to discuss it right now." I answered.

"Ok." I looked at him confused. Tom and Hal walked in with Pizza boxes and Mom and Quinn followed. They sat it in front of me.

"Pepperoni." I announced. Huck got his pizza.

"Spinach." I called out. Tom reached.

"Ham." Abby

"Sausage." Fitz

"Meat lover" Both Hal and Harrison hand reached glaring at each other.

"Choose a number 1 to 10." I said.

"4." Hal answered first.

"7." Harrison said next. I handed Hal the pizza than Harrison his.

"Hawiann." Quinn

"Macaroni?" I looked up and my mom held her hand out. "Really, mama macaroni."

"Yes gimme." I handed her her pizza. I opened up the last box which is cheese and took a slice. I took a bite of the cheesy goodness and it was still hot. Fitz was on his second slice. I knew he was hungry. I took out my phone and sent a text to Cyrus.

 **Me: Can you set up a sit down interview with whomever you choose for tomorrow?**

 **Cyrus: Of course is Mellie going to be apart of this interview.**

 **Me: Yes and can you inform her?**

 **Cyrus: Of course and Liv**

 **Me: Yes.**

 **Cyrus: I'm sorry for your lost.**

I took another bite of my pizza holding the tears back.

 **Me: Text me the information when you set it up please and thank you.**

I went back to eating like everyone else, nobody talked just ate Tom and Hal sat by the door eating but still alert. I had just finished my second pizza when I decided I had to have a piece of my mom pizza.

"Mama, can I have a piece?" I asked sweetly.

"Getting bored of your plain pizza I see."

"Cheese pizza is delicious and impossible to get bored of." I teplied. She took another piece and handed me the box.

"You can have it." I took two pieces and handed to Harrison who was finishing his last slice. He took 1 before Abby snatched it out his hand and took one.

"You want one?" Abby asked Huck shook his head no and then she looked at Quinn who shook her head. "Boys do you want one?" Abby asked Tom and Hal. They nodded getting the remaining pieces. I looked at Fitz who just finished his box.

"Here." I handed him a macaroni pizza. He took it and ate it. I ate mine and it was amazing it was almost better than cheese.

"Anybody want my cheese pizza, can have it?" I said standing. Abby and Harrison was the first ones up splitting the pizza with each other. I rolled my eyes. "It's getting late." I announced.

"Yeah it is." Quinn agreed

"And we got an early day tomorrow." I continued.

"Yup we do." Quinn again agreed.

"I didn't realize Liv had a shadow 20 shades lighter than her and could talk." Abby rudely said to Quinn.

"Abby be nice." I said. "Fitz come with me." He stood and followed me to his room.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"I can't stay here." I said ready for him to fight me on it.

"Ok." He said and turned to leave.

"Just okay?" I questioned.

"You'll never love me the way I love you and I'm coming to terms with it." He replied and walked out. I stood there.

 _Heart: *screams* 'I do love you!'_

 _Brain: *screams* 'He didn't say that you idiot.'_

 _Heart: *whispers* 'But I love him.'_

 _Brain: 'Obviously not enough.'_

 _Heart: 'What do you mean not enough? I love him more than life.'_

 _Brain: 'You're lying.'_

 _Heart: *screams* 'Am not!'_

 _Brain: 'If you love him more than life your love for him would be able to overpower me.'_

 _Heart: 'I know what I feel. I love him and I'm going to show you and him and anyone else who doubts me. Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the Third is the love of my life, I feel Nothing but Love for him.'_

 _Brain: 'You can't overpower me.'_

 _Heart: 'Bet.'_

I walked out the room determined.

 _ **Hey guys I kind of lost that love for writing. Only temporary of course. My pregnant cousin was killed 3 days ago, she was shot in her head while laying in bed by a friend who came over. The killer also shot her boyfriend who was on the sidewalk trying to get to their house after hearing the gunshot. They were both instantly killed and left behind a 6 months old baby. They were so full of life at only 18 years old. Jealousy is a dangerous emotion. The man who did it has been caught, thank God but I will continue to write despite everything. Updates may come slower or if not slower it'll come shorter.**_

 _ **Which one short chapters or slow updates?**_


	7. Chapter 6

Everybody was already leaving. I stood next to Fitz as everyone began to file out the room.

"I'll wait in the car." My mother said walking out with Quinn. When everyone left, I turned to Fitz.

"I do love you."

"Yeah." He said turning his back to me. He started to straighten the couch.

"This isn't fair." I pouted.

 **"WHAT ISN'T FAIR OLIVIA**!"

 **"DON'T YELL AT ME**! I don't know what you want from me, Fitzgerald."

"What I want from you? This conversation is useless." He turned and walked away. I stood there and jumped when I heard the door slam. I waited a couple minutes and went to his bedroom door, I tried to open the door but it was locked just as I was going to knock. I heard the shower come on. I took that as my que to leave him alone. I stepped out and asked Tom to take my mom to my house. I came back in closing and locking the living room door in case Mellie tried to come back. I sat down, it was only 7:45 and I waited 3 hours for Fitz to come out but he never did. At 8:47, I laid down checking a few emails and sending a good night to my mom. I tried to fight the sleep but I was exhausted. I remember when I was pregnant and I use to go to sleep this early at night. Those were the nights I dreamed of my baby's face, the nights I dreamed of a happy family.

 _ **Next Day**_

"Hey." I opened my eyes and looked at Fitz who sat in a suit with one hand on my shoulder. I sat up running a hand through my hair. "I'm going in to work early so I wanted to talk to you before I left. I think you should get yourself together alone without me, we just started back with this relationship but I don't think it's healthy for either of us so this is me ending us until we are both ready to take our relationship serious but we will never get anywhere if we individual lives and emotions aren't good. Do you get what I'm saying?" He questioned. I stared forward, I felt his hand hold mine and I abruptly stood. I grabbed my purse and walked to the door and stopped.

Not looking back, I whispered loud enough for him to hear. "In this together is what you said." I opened the door and left.

"Ms. Pope, do you want me to get you a car?" Tom asked.

"No, I'll walk." I muttered looking forward.

"But Ms. Pope your place is too far to walk to." He said slowly.

"Then when I get tired of walking, I'll call a cab." I responded never looking at him but I couldn't help the tear that slipped.

"But Ms. Pope-"

"I'm fine Tom, I need to go now. Have a good day." I quickly left.

 **Hey, it's been awhile, last time I updated I informed you that my cousin died well now my best friend has breast cancer and life has been stressful so, you can understand right? But I still have a responsibility to you all so I'm going to keep going and I'm so sorry it's so short. But I think Fitz and Olivia do need each other to work through this miscarriage but they need to figure out some things alone with each other's influence. Does that make sense? Hope so. See ya.**


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